The Art Of Health ☥ Healing ☥ Part III
- ©Dr. Phyllis SHU Hubbard
- Apr 3, 2024
- 37 min read
Updated: 12 hours ago
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A Double Down Digression
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They also learn that the aliens have been bribing humans to become collaborators, promoting them to positions of power ... ☥ From The Plot Description Of 'They Live' ☥ Wikipedia ☥
I experienced a deep, deep betrayal from a white male whom I thought was a friend. I had to sit with the betrayal for a long time. We were friends for a number of years which gave him plenty of time to gather intel and ease his way into my inner circle of relationships. On the day of the betrayal, he stood by my side, knowing that he was responsible for the pain I was experiencing. I experienced another betrayal from a Black woman whom I was helping to establish her work with a group of professionals. In both cases, the mighty sucker punches knocked the wind out of me. However, as I healed, the wind returned to me as Shu ☥ God Of Air ☥ Sustenance Of Life. I invested a lot of time in my Kamitic Yoga practice and, after five years of practice, I developed the stamina ☥ discipline to practice for four hours each day when I managed my time properly. By the time I began the process of awakening, my mind ☥ vision was clear, and I could recognize insights, wisdom and empowering suggestions that were coming to me from my innate intelligence.
Towards the end of "They Live," Nada was stunned by a deep betrayal that ended up costing him his life. The woman who betrayed him also killed Frank and was in Nada's inner circle of relationships and under the influence of the aliens' psychological manipulation → warfare/terrorism which used fear, scarcity, financial incentives and competition to turn humans against each other. I remember hearing Osho say that understanding is the only discipline. I understood his words intellectually, but now I believe I can deeply feel the lessons in his message which helped me to unpack, heal and release the deep betrayals of my past. Listed below are some of the universal lessons that helped me to heal ☥ take inspired actions → self-awareness ☥ protection (notice how some lessons overlap/are connected to other lessons).
☥ Lesson #0 - My ancestors lost their land, people, history, culture, art, language and
so much more because of deep, deep betrayals. I need to understand my history ☥
culture, but I also need to understand the anatomy and physiology of the colonizer
mindset so that I can develop effective counterstrategies to thwart their actions. My
ancestors heal as I heal. Decolonization begins in my mind and through my actions. It is
OK for me to feel angry from time to time, as long as I process that anger and transform
it into wisdom + inspired actions.
☥ Lesson #1 - Every red flag is legitimate and must be investigated, no matter how
small or insignificant it may seem on the surface.
☥ Lesson #2 - Do not underestimate the power of jealousy to drive behaviors.
Jealousy (envy, etc.) shows up in many forms and often hides behind seemingly friendly behaviors. When I notice it in people around me, I need to address it immediately. Suggestions include empowering reframes that help people around me to recognize
the unique value they bring to a situation, refraining from making comparisons and
never suppressing my power/potential to make other people feel comfortable.
☥ Lesson #3 - It is not possible to negotiate with a narcissist. They must be identified
and removed from my inner circle, and they must clearly remain behind strong healthy
boundaries that I define, set and enforce. If I relax my boundaries, I will experience
another betrayal.
☥ Lesson #4 - No one will think or behave the way I want/expect them to
think/behave.
People can only be who they are, and if they don't know how to heal, they will engage in
sabotage of self/others, almost by default. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but it
needs to inform how I respond to their behavior.
☥ Lesson #5 - I must heal my emotions in order to transcend the pain of the betrayals
so that I can understand the lesson ☥ self-correct, because if I miss the lessons
(which includes behaviors that I need to change), they will repeat in another form.
☥ Lesson #6 - Most people have not been taught how to process and heal emotions,
so they have become masters of distraction, deflection and suppression. These
behaviors are celebrated and reinforced through social programming/herd mentality. It
is vitally important that I do not judge or take the behavior of others personally. At the
same time, it is imperative that I cultivate benchmarks for trust and enforce healthy
boundaries to prevent them from engaging in substandard behaviors.
☥ Lesson #7 - Because I am still waking up, I don't know how deeply I've been
affected by social programming. I need to protect myself by making an unwavering
habit out of questioning my thoughts/perceptions and improving my behavior
based on my new growth/what I'm learning.
Burkino Faso-born architect, Diébédo Francis Kéré, has become the first African to win the prestigious Pritzker Prize, which is often referred to as the Nobel Prize of architecture. His highly esteemed work, including permanent and temporary structures, has been erected in his country of birth, but also across Africa, Europe and the United States. (BBC Afrique) ☥ 'I grew up in a community where there was no kindergarten, but where community was your family. I remember the room where my grandmother would sit and tell stories with a little light, while we would huddle close to each other and her voice inside the room enclosed us, summoning us to come closer and form a safe place. This was my first sense of architecture ... Architecture is an instrument we can use to create better cities, to create space to inspire people, to create classrooms which inspire the best generation.' ☥ ☥ ☥ Diébédo Francis Kéré ☥ From, 'Diébédo Francis Kéré: The First African To Win Architecture's Top Award' ☥ BBC Afrique ☥
☥ Lesson #8 - Colonizers use economic suppression, social programming and herd
mentality to shock Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People into silence or
acquiescence. I must have a daily practice that keeps me calm, grounded,
centered and alert so that when the shock appears, I can respond instead of knee-
jerk react. Here are a few basic examples of times when I was shocked into inaction/a
knee-jerk reaction:
☥ I had made it to the last round of interviews for a remote job that I really wanted with
an organization that provided mental health services. I had a Zoom interview with an
executive who was a white male. He had left his job as a surgeon to help run the
organization. When the white male started the Zoom call, he was in bed and wearing
no shirt. It was obvious that he had just woken up, and he made no apology for his
appearance. How much money would I have needed to make a formal complaint that
caused him to be accountable for his actions?
☥ I was looking through some paint samples at a local hardware store when I felt like
someone was watching me. I looked up and saw a white woman staring. I ignored her,
but then she took a step in my direction. I gave her the, "Don't even think about
taking another step in my direction look," when she said, "I want to tell you something,
but if I tell you, it could endanger your life." I responded, "Then don't tell me." I walked
away, but I would have preferred to have followed through/reported her to security.
☥ I was standing in the First Class line getting ready to board, when a white woman
pushed her way past me while saying out loud to no one in particular, "Is this the First
Class line?" She used her rushing as an excuse to go to the beginning of the line. It
happened so fast, I just let her go. But, when I got on the plane, I had a window seat
and guess who was sitting in the aisle seat? She jumps when she sees me and says,
"Oh! Are you sitting here?" I said, "Yes" and waited while she got up so that I could
take my seat. She attempted to be friendly, but I was too annoyed to deal with her. I
would have preferred that I addressed her behavior instead of festering.
The dehumanization of Blackness and its effects on Black females are rooted in the harsh history of slavery in America. Attributes such as race and gender impact their life and educational experiences. Examining the historical implications of dehumanization through the lens of Critical Race and Black Radical Feminist Theories provides a foundation for understanding issues surrounding gender, race, and identities of black females in society. ☥ From 'Spaces for Difference: An Interdisciplinary Journal,' Volume 1, number 1, pp. 65-85
When we do the equivalent of "putting on the sunglasses" so that we can "see" the covert strategies of colonization, we can see how Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People are gradually socialized to dehumanize each other. I was at an event that included a book signing. I was standing in line to have my book signed by a Black male celebrity that I would put into the "well-known, sex symbol" category within Black communities. He was signing books, taking pictures and conversing with people. However, just before I approached him, he turned his head to talk to a few other Black males who were standing by. He continued talking to them while ignoring me. I was quite surprised by his behavior and was considering walking away, when he suddenly reached over, grabbed my book, found the chapter he had written, signed his name and returned the book to me all while his head was turned and he was laughing and talking to the other Black males. The moment shocked me into inaction. As I walked away, I regreted not calling out his behavior. I didn't want his signature in my book, and I sat with the way his behaviors dehumanized me for quite some time. The only difference between me and the other people in line was that I was quite a bit taller. Though this Black male was taller than me, I got the impression that he somehow felt intimidated by my stature and used the moment to assert his power in the only way he knew how (lack of confidence that he was attempting to hide through overcompensation). This is very typical of Knight behavior. I later learned that he happily took a picture with the person who was standing right behind me, so there was something about me that was triggering for this man.
Other ways that colonization gradually socializes us to dehumanize each other include:
☥ Funding work that dumbs down our culture
☥ Funding music that dengrates women (i.e. Hip Hop music branding Black women as
"bitches and ho's")
☥ Funding TV shows, movies, etc. that trend barbaric behaviors and present them as
either socially acceptable or as behaviors that give people "status"
Do we see the common demoninators?
We represent a $1.8 trillion dollar market that is growing steadily, but our unresolved trauma and unwillingess/lack of knowledge to heal causes us to reinvest in the perpetuation of these behaviors to go along with the herd instead of taking back control of our mind and emotions so that we can invest in the fulfillment of our potential. When we don't know how to heal, we play "hot potato" with our pain and suffering which is a coping mechanism that sustains cycles of pain within our communities.
☥ Lesson #10 - When in doubt, ask, "What would love do?" Not the socialized,
commercialized or superficial versions of love that are promoted in the media, but love
as the source of all there is.
☥ Lesson #11 - Nothing I do will stop white people from trying to sabotage what I do
→ my actions must include counterstrategies for potential sabotage. I don’t
remember when I first learned this lesson, but the moment that comes to mind is the
sensation that I felt when my hair stylist first permed my hair. There was something about
the way my scalp stung from the chemicals that let me know that I was making a
mistake that I would deeply regret, but I didn’t have the knowledge or strength of
character to make a better decision for myself. I later realized that perming my hair to
stop white people from tormenting me was sort of like giving heroin to a heroin addict
to make them go away. Perming my hair did nothing to protect me from white people.
In fact, there was a girl in my school who didn’t perm her hair, and I was not treated any better than her. I admired her, and wished that I could have been as strong as her. The
sunk cost factor made it very difficult for me to overcome my mistake because I
couldn’t get past the emotions of grieving what I had lost of myself. However, once I
accepted the sunk cost, I was able to grieve properly and heal which was a necessary
step in helping me to get unstuck so that I could move forward. First, I calculated that perming my hair cost me over $30,000 + about 10 pounds of lost hair/burned scalp + the realization that my actions did not improve the behavior of white people + it
cultivated a sense of self-hatred within me → herd mentality of self-hatred among the Black People in my community. Then, I took the time to heal, forgive myself + the
people in my community who were too traumatized to mentor/help me heal. The final
step is ongoing. It involves tapping into my inner wisdom and thinking carefully about
what I am about to say or do. It also involves recognizing that jealousy and racism will cause white people + the Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People who enforce
eurocentric agendas (consciously or subconsciously) to sabotage any action I choose to
take. This recognition keeps me from taking action without implementing
counterstrategies and anticipating potential sabotage. It acts as a check and balance
strategy because when I clarify my benchmarks for trust and insist that the people
around me meet those benchmaks, their actions will reveal whether or not they can be
trusted, and I can then adjust my actions accordingly.
☥ Lesson #12 - When people say things to us, investigate the truth before responding
emotionally to what we hear.
In the clip above, notice how the young woman makes assumptions about the truth
and then accuses the village priestess without engaging in a conversation to get at the
truth. This is happening because she is driven by emotions that are causing her to draw
conclusions based on circumstances that she doesn’t fully understand (partially
because she doesn’t understand her own culture). But, because she spent most of her life being educated in America, she believes that her (colonized) perception of the truth
is the only way to view the situation. She represents Africans of the diaspora/continent
who have been socially programmed to view traditions and culture as primitive,
uneducated and uncivilized and these perceptions persist even though colonizers’
actions towards us continue to be primitive, uneducated and uncivilized. Jemeji does a
spectacular job of helping us to see the fallacies in our behaviors as a person from the
city or village — and both groups of people have fallacies to correct.
Another way this plays out is when people say something to us in order to cause an
emotional reaction in us and then our reaction temporarily satisfies the person’s
emotional addiction to feeling like they had the power to make us do something. A way
out of these situations is to practice meditation. Check out my Journey to Radiance ☥
Sankofa blog to learn about S.N. Goenka and his meditation mentorship around
cultivating the ability to perceive sensations without reacting to them. This is not a
lesson that we can learn by reading this blog. As I mention in Journey to Radiance ☥
Sankofa, there are no shortcuts - we must practice in order to cultivate the skill. And if
this skill were a guitar, we would have to practice to be as good as B.B. King.
☥ Lesson #13 - The evolution of the sacrifice. I have a theory that I cannot yet prove, but I’m going to share it and would like for us to contemplate it over time. I believe that
when God asked us to make a sacrifice, we misinterpreted the meaning because we
were too afraid to do what was truly asked of us. So, instead of sacrificing what God
truly asked of us, we thought that we could fool God by sacrificing humans. This
practice went on for a very long time. Then came human rights initiatives, and we began
the practice of sacrificing animals and then eating them. But these are not the
sacrifices that God asked of us. We didn’t listen to God because what God asked us to
sacrifice was too scary for us to do because it requires that we face ourselves. So, what
is the evolution of the sacrifice? Think about the most bloody, gruesome sacrifice and
imagine what it would be like for self-hatred to be that incredulous sacrifice. How can
we kill self-hatred? How can we destroy self-hatred in such a way that it can no longer
drive our thoughts and actions? When we look at the statues in Kamit (Ancient Egypt),
we realize that our ancestors worked very hard to show us that we were greater than we
could possibly imagine. Why else would the statues be so incredibly large? So, how does
sacrificing a human or an animal improve our behavior? It doesn’t which is why I believe
that God did not ask us to sacrifice a human or an animal. God asks us to sacrifice self-
hatred. It is much more difficult than we think which is why we keep focusing on
something else, but the time for evolution is now. If we spend the next year sacrificing
self-hatred - if we kill it in the most final way possible, how will our lives change?
☥ Lesson #14 -“There is nothing supernatural, everything is natural. We in Africa
know that the human being possesses twelve senses, not five senses as Western
People believe.” (Source: ☥ Vusamazulu Credo Mutwa ☥) I realized that extra sensory
perception is not special or “extra” in any way. We have the ability to perceive beyond the
Western concept of the five senses, and these abilities are not “supernatural” or
“paranormal” from the African perspective. These ideas of “witchcraft/sorcery” are made
up to make African people afraid or ashamed of their natural way of being. The
stigmatized terms were developed by colonizers based on their ignorance of and desire
to control us. So, the first step for me was to decolonize my mind and accept myself as I
am. If I perceive something, I allow it to manifest itself completely. I relax into the flow of
the experience, and I give myself time to decode whatever messages are coming
through to me. I no longer feel ashamed of any of my quirks. I investigate them, do
whatever healing is necessary if needed, and unapologetically own all of who I am. I
believe that every diasporic African has a “Kunta Kinte” inside of them - that African
who made it through the middle passage, chose to live in spite of the suffering +
sacrifices and refuses to be forgotten. That African will keep knocking on our internal
door until we answer the call. There is no limit to how that African will attempt to
communicate with us, so it is important to keep an open mind, be receptive to
information coming to us from “the intelligence” and remember to directly face and
transform any fear that we may feel. I also believe that we will not be happy ☥ find
peace ☥ experience fulfillment until we understand ☥ get to know that African → who
Sexual health that promotes self-care through the celebration of identity and culture is vital because rape has been an integral part of colonization, and most of the issues in Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities have some connection to hidden sexual trauma. Colonization creates a toxic environment that stigmatizes sexual health and prevents us from healing. ‘Sexual Health for Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People’ uses visual healing art to demonstrate healthy behaviors, normalize sexual health education and increase active engagement of Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People in self-care through representation that helps them relate to the content. We must acknowledge and heal generational trauma caused by racism, oppression and colonization. eurocentric images dominate the marketplace, promote eurocentrism as the criterion and prevent Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People from seeing themselves as whole, beautiful, empowered individuals who command respect and are comfortable in our skin. If we ignore our sexual health, we will be unable to prevent the perpetuation of sexual ignorance, debility, perversion and abuse. ☥ ☥ Dr. Phyllis SHU Hubbard ☥
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Diving Further Down
Lesson 15# - Healing Our Perceptions Of Worth → Money ↔ Caste Systems
I’ve been contemplating concepts of worth for a long time. How do we see ourselves and our value? How does money play into these perceptions? In my family, I have a two star general, a person who lives in a mansion, a large family who grew up in a three room house with no running water and an outhouse in the woods + many other levels of "status" in between these categories. So, is the general and the person in the mansion from the upper class and the family with no running water in the lower class within my family? Do I treat them differently at the family reunion based on their financial status? Do caste systems make sense within Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities? What is the purpose of a caste system? Do we need some sort of “system” to prove that we are “better” than someone else? If so, why? Why is it so tempting for us to nip at other people in order to feel good about ourselves? How did we become so shallow-minded? Consider this quote about power:
Power doesn't have to show off. Power is confident, self-assuring, self-starting and self-stopping, self-warming and self-justifying. When you have it, you know it. ☥ ☥ Ralph Ellison ☥
If we could learn how to be “confident, self-assuring, self-starting, self-stopping, self-warming and self-justifying,” would we need a “caste system” to make ourselves feel a sense of worth? During my first national sales meeting as a "sales rep," I had to share a room with an unknown white female rep. That experience was robust enough for a full blog, but for now, I'll just share one incident. We were coming back to our room from a meeting and there was a Black female housekeeper working in the hallway. As we passed her, I smiled and said hello. When we got to the room, the conversation between me and my white roomate (wr) went something like this:
wr: "I can't believe you spoke to the help."
Me: My great-grandmother had many skills, but she could only get a job as a domestic
worker, cleaning the houses of white people. My grandmother also worked as a
custodian, so when I see a housekeeper, I think of my grandmothers and how hard
they worked so that I could have my current opportunities.
wr: "Oh" (she then changes the subject) "That last session was a total bore wasn't it?"
During the meeting, I made sure to leave tips and speak to everyone. I don't think of housekeepers as of a lower status than me. Cleanliness → Godliness. One of the greatest gifts that I ever received was a housekeeper that I used to trade with when I first started my business. I was so stressed because it was hard to do all the work and keep the house clean, but my business was in my house so it had to be clean. I found a woman who needed massage, and I needed a clean house so it was a win-win combination that saved me in so many ways. I never saw her or her work as beneath mine. I saw her as an equal. I do require professionalism from everyone who works with me, but I don't need to see them as beneath me, and I've been in deep thought about why we need to place people into categories of worth. What is the purpose of this practice?
During a conference in Toronto, one of my colleagues took me to a very upscale Dim Sum restaurant that I truly loved. I wanted to return the favor by taking this colleague to the best Jamaican restauant that I could find. Toronto is the site of the largest concentration of Jamaicans in Canada, so I knew that there had to be a great restaurant somewhere. I walked with my colleague over to the concierge's desk to make an inquiry. The concierge was a white woman who was about my age and the conversation with her (wc) went something like this:
Me: (Excitedly) Hi there! Would you please let me know the name of your best Jamaican
restauant in Toronto? I can't wait to check it out.
wc: (Puzzled) Uh, I'm sorry, I don't know of any Jamaican restaurants in the area.
Me: That's impossible. Toronto has such a large population of Jamaicans who love food
and are natural entrepreneurs, so they must have a number of restaurants in the area.
wc: (Adamant) I'm sorry, I don't have any information on Jamaican restauants.
Because my white colleague was with me, I realized that it must be time for a teaching moment, so the conversation continued something like this:
Me: Would you please call your head housekeeper?
wc: (Puzzled) I'm sorry?
Me: Your head housekeeper is Jamaican is she not?
wc: (Embarrassed) Yes, she is.
Me: Please call her for me. I'm sure she can direct me to the best place in town.
wc: Yes, Ma'am.
My white colleague and the white concierge are now shuffling uncomfortably attempting to pretend that reality was not happening. The conversation continues with the Jamaican housekeeper (JH) like this:
JH: (Cautiously curious) Hello, dis is the head a housekeepin'
Me: Hello, thank you so much, and I apologize for disturbing you, but I really love good
Jamaican food, I'm only in Toronto for a few days and want to eat the best Jamaican
food in the city. Where do you go to eat?
JH: (Excited) Oh my goodness! You love Jamaican food? You must go to Chubby's! You
are going to love it.
Me: Thank you so much for your help! I can't wait!
The concierge has to find the location for Chubby's in order to call us a taxi, so I say to her, Toronto has a very large population of Jamaicans. Please make a note about Chubby's for the future so that you can recommend it. I'll stop back by your desk to confirm that it is worthy of your recommendation. I dropped off a Chubby's business card and hoped that the experience would improve the professionalism of the concierge, but I am convinced that she will not include Jamaican businesses unless more people like me/high profile guests make + follow through with the inquires.
What bothered me so much about this exchange is that the concierge recommended a number of Italian, Greek and Asian restaurants, but she overlooked her Jamaican staff members and seemed to not know how many Jamaicans were in the city of Toronto (more than 200,000 people and +3.4% of the total population). Furthermore, the concierge works for the guest. If a guest makes an inquiry, the professional response needs to be, "I'll find out" not "I don't know." When we arrived at Chubby's, I was excited to see that it was in a nice part of the city, it was a beautiful restaurant and the food was authentic. They were shooting a comercial in part of the restauant, so they could certainly use the recommendations of the concierges from the best hotels in the city. However, my experience at the best hotel was that they behaved as if there were no Jamaican restauants in the city. I also noticed that there were plenty of white patrons so, why not recommend it? How much harder do the Jamaican entrepreneurs have to work to attract business?
I've had many similar experiences in other cities, the most disturbing of which was actually with an African concierge who worked at a swanky hotel in Washington, D.C. I was so excited to see an African concierge, but my excitement waned quickly when I asked him to recommend the best African restaurant in town. Keep in mind that the population of Ethiopians is so large that they don't even have to speak english in the city. The African man adamantly told me that he didn't know of any African restauants in the city. What was he trying to prove and to whom? For what purpose? How does an African so easily lose the connection to himself in America?
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Diving Further Down $
Because I have worked with a number of people in the "wealthy" category, I feel the need to double down further to explore the purpose of money. I often think of a popular rap song that suggests that when get our "money right," no one can tell us anything. However,
what happens when we don't get our mind right first?
I seem to notice the disconnect more with wealthy Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People, but I have also noticed this issue with white people. What is the purpose of money and how do we best use it? I used to think that wealthy people understood money better than me, but my social programming research + experiences with wealthy clients have shifted my perceptions. Money is sort of like a microphone. If we are intelligent, money can grow and expand our intelligence. The challenge comes with our shortcomings and this is where I often spot the disconnect. I have noticed that some people use money to hide their shortcomings or to bully/coerce people into doing what they want. Because the person has money, they attract opportunistic people who are trained to do and say what a wealthy person wants to hear. These people then create a false environment that can be sustained for a long time through wealth.
Slowly, the wealthy person begins to lose themself because they use money to purchase "things" that replace the work needed to evolve through self-awareness. The extra "things" are provided as "proof" that evolution has occurred, but there has been no evolution, just the accumulation of "things." Celebrities offer great examples of this dynamic because we see it happen over and over again. We watch certain celebrities making decisions, and we want to scream "Noooooooo! It's a trap!!!!!" But, even if we had access to the celebrity, they might laugh in our face because we are of a lower "status" or think that we are an opportunist because they can no longer tell the difference between people who serve the highest good and wannabes. So we watch helplessly as the celebrity rises and then falls. Each time, the celebrity seems to have been blindsighted, and each celebrity had enough money to protect themselves from the fall. So, why did they fall?
I am especially concerned about Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities, because they keep losing their money/assets, and they often struggle with similar social issues:
☥ They can't seem to find a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant person to marry and appear
to be bombarded with a disproportionate amount of white mates as options
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Diving Further Down
In Discernment ☥ Wisdom Of Our Chakras ☥ Part III, I share the above image and my painful experience of being bombarded with images of white cultural appropriation. The image above has major financial implications because it reflects 350,000 photography and modeling jobs that Black People did NOT get to represent their own culture. So, why am I mentioning this story now? I don't exist in the celebrity world, but it cannot be a coincidence that so many Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities behave in the same way. Why is it so difficult for a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrity to find a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant person to marry? Could it be that there is a "filibuster" environment that surrounds them and "hides" the good potential mates? The inception of my contemplation came from an invitation I received from a co-worker to attend a superbowl party at the home of a famous Black baseball player. I hate those kind of events because they are full of wannabes, so I declined the offer, but my co-worker lectured me until I finally gave in. The moment I entered the home, I was ready to leave, but I chalked up the experience to an opportunity for another psych experiment. At one moment, I noticed a famous basketball player hiding outside of the kitchen and peeking in periodically to scan the room. It was such a strange environment - too fake for me. I protested so much, that we finally left. The experience caused me to ponder, how does a celebrity find a quality mate? The event I attended would offer opportunists, but not quality options. I was dragged to the event, and vowed to never let myself be talked into such a thing again. If we take this type of event + the bombardment of white people (who have a much easier access to celebrities) what kind of equation are we creating that could equal finding the right person → a quality, fulfilling relationship?
My scrolling experience was incredibly painful. First of all, I did a specific search for Black People and was bombarded with hundreds of images of white people before I found the first image of a Black Person. Some of the beautiful images that I found are on this website, but they came at a heavy emotional price. I wanted to give up, but the only reason why I kept scrolling was because my grandmother's voice popped into my head and she started singing "I Don't Feel Noways Tired." Whenever I felt like stopping, she would say "keep scrolling baby, because that Black model is counting on someone like you who has the strength to keep going so that you can find them, so keep scrolling baby - you ain't tired." After five long hours of scrolling, my grandmother's voice turned into a choir of ancestors singing, and I found 70 beautiful images that were strategically buried within 350,000 images such as the ones that you see above. So, if we look at how this dynamic shows up in every area of our life, how would a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrity find a compatible mate when the best options for them (outside of the celebrity "world") are strategically hidden/buried? When we look inside the celebrity world, we tend to notice combinations that are often focused more on optics than compatibility. The Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrity couples who have survived the test of time tend to be grounded in a spiritual practice, stay out of media attention, chose to work through some sort of relationship trauma and/or have graduated out of the Knight stage of development. Regardless of our social economic "status," we need to explore the effects of colonization on relationship problems within Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities.
Other common social issues that often show up within the Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrity world include:
☥ If they marry a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant person, they often leave this person for
a white spouse that doesn’t seem to make compatible sense → tends to fall apart
☥ If they are fortunate enough to have a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant family, there
seems to be an unusually large percentage of dysfunctional dynamics within the family
such as the children are fighting with each other or their parents, jealousy issues, etc.
☥ When the celebrity dies, the family is in such disarray that the court systems end up
with most of the money and the family becomes disenfranchised
☥ A disproportionate amount of Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities report and
display signs of depression - even when the celebrity is smiling, I can see the pain
behind their eyes
My research has found that these and many other issues tend to surface in more than 60% of Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities which is an alarming number. Occurrences in the single digits are worthy of attention, but the numbers that I see are staggering. There are no shortcuts to healing and transformation. Each one of us must do the individual growth work. We cannot pay someone to do it for us, and the money allows us to hide for a while, but the truth eventually catches up with us. A few heart-wrenching examples of celebrity deaths include:
Don Cornelius, infamous host/producer of Soul Train committed suicide (age 75) - we lose too many elders before they have the chance to function as an elder → sharing wisdom, using their life experiences to help us protect ourselves from colonizers ↔ think about what we could have learned from Don Cornelius as a community elder
Lee Thompson Young, child star of The Famous Jett Jackson and rising star committed suicide at the age of 29
Michelle Thomas, character actress died of a rare form of cancer at the age of 30
Lisa Lopes (Left Eye), singer/rapper, died in a car crash at the age of 30
The asset battles go back to Kamit (Ancient Egypt). While white egyptologists attempt to present the "Ancient Egyptians" as promoters of incest, the truth is that colonization forced the Kamitians (Ancient Egyptians) to marry their siblings in order to maintain control over family property. They had children with concubines, but this was a move to control assets, not a display of sexual deviancy. In the modern world, we see that abolitionist Fredrick Douglass lost his entire estate to a white woman who was hired as a clerk in his office (he later married her) and then to the state, leaving his five children disenfranchised and Alex Haley lost his farm + his family had to auction off his Pulitzer Prize (yet Roots, still earns money in DVD sales, reruns, etc. so "someone" is earning money instead of the family). It is not enough to earn money because these people had plenty of money. We have to understand money and allow it to work for us → assist in our personal/professional growth → evolution of consciousness.
A celebrity who does the growth work will experience deep fulfillment + happiness, live in their purpose, know how to use money and will not fall into the traps of hiding behind shortcomings/to bully. Such a celebrity would be unstoppable and if that person was also a humanitarian they could help us to build a better world.
Lesson #16 - If an orange is squeezed, orange juice will come out → we need to have an empowered response to “the squeeze” when it happens and resist the temptation to cause harm to ourselves/others. Please continually revisit this lesson because I believe it will evolve over time as I come to a greater understanding of the process of working through “the squeeze.” I am most concerned about “the squeeze” in Africa because watching Black People oppress each other is almost unbearable, but I experienced the same emotions when I watched Will Smith smack Chris Rock in America. I don’t normally mention celebrity names specifically, but because we will be unpacking this issue for many years to come, and I explore this situation in my emotions + mental health blogs, we will continue our healing process by focusing on the issue and not the people. Both issues speak to the pain of watching a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant person harm another Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant person because they are knee-jerk reacting to “the squeeze” instead of consciously choosing an empowered response. If we don’t learn how to manage our dark side, it will manage us and will eventually control how we “manage” life situations. The biggest challenge with “the squeeze” is our lack of preparation based on our cockiness. We think we have our ego under control, and we continue to delude ourselves all the way up to the moment that we are "squeezed." Even as we are acting out, we still think we are “in control,” and it is not until we later reflect on + deal with the effects of our actions that we can accept the fact that we were unprepared + lost control during “the squeeze.”
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Diving Further Down
I am going to digress here to explore the reaction of two professional boxers. The first boxer was favored to win. He was larger and a known sex symbol. I watched him enter the boxing ring like a peacock, smiling, posturing - proud of his good looks. The second boxer was slightly shorter and smaller, but ultra focused. He had a no-nonsense presence about him as he entered the ring. As the fight started, I noticed that the peacock kept posturing during the fight, almost taunting the other boxer, but the smaller boxer stayed ultra focused. It was fascinating to watch these dynamics play out in a boxing ring. When the opportunity presented itself, the smaller boxer got in a few good hooks and knocked the peacock to the ground. The funniest moment for me was when the peacock was interviewed, and he was a bit disoriented - talking as if he was still in the fight with a chance to win. It was as if the fact that he got knocked out had not yet caught up with him in consciousness. I thought about this fight for a long time and kept replaying the ultra focus of the smaller boxer in my mind. His behavior provided great examples of empowered responses to “the squeeze.” Let’s take a look at a few of his responses:
☥ Extreme Focus - He was there to win the fight, not to look cute fighting. His form was
precise, his energy was balanced and he did not respond to the taunting of the peacock.
He consistently kept his gloves up, and I could see that he was driving the movement of
the punches from his waist. One of the most challenging practices for me during boxing
class is to drive the movement of the punch from my waist, so I was truly impressed with
the precision of his form. Ironically, his focus caused him to look more attractive in the
fight than the peacock.
☥ Discernment - his extreme focus caused him to stay “in the zone” so that he could
perceive split-second opportunities to take his best shots. He literally knocked the smile
off of the peacock’s face.
☥ Emotional Maturity - though he was continually taunted by the peacock, he did not allow
himself to get baited into knee-jerk reactions. He stayed true to his form, watched
carefully, waited and then took his shot.
Even when he won the fight, he stayed focused on his performance, using critical analysis to ponder what he learned during the fight + what he could have done better.
As I reflected on this fight, I thought about the type of training a person needs to excel with extreme focus + discernment + emotional maturity in the midst of “the squeeze.” Because of my thousands of conversations with clients, I am convinced that most of us think we have our emotions in check. I am also convinced that most of us do not do any type of “emotional training” to “stay prepared” in case of a surprise emotional trigger - and the trigger tends to often be a surprise. We “think” that we are in control + we don’t do any type of training to ensure that we can balance our emotions = our subconscious delusional state of mind ↔ the ways in which we lie to ourselves.
I would like to end this lesson with a few questions for us to ponder. How can we protect ourselves + others from making poor choices when we are "squeezed?" These choices can cause extreme harm and even be fatal, yet we continually lie to ourselves on a daily basis - convinced that we are in control of our emotions. What will it take for us to get honest with ourselves, look deeply at ourselves without judgment and make corrective actions?
Nada figures out where the source of the signal is and destroys the transmitter which liberates the human population. ☥ From The Plot Description Of 'They Live' ☥ Wikipedia ☥
"They Live" Plot Theme: Identify + Remove The Root Cause Of The Problem = Liberation
Every challenge that we face in our community has repeated and will continue to repeat itself until we focus our efforts on identifying and removing the root causes. Root Cause Analysis is a discovery process that reveals solutions that were in our blind spots. Root Cause Analysis is a solutions based approach to problem solving that uses a wide array of tools and strategies to help us identify and remove the origin of a problem. The origin of a problem is like engine fuel. Without fuel, the engine cannot run. The root cause of a problem is the reason for its existence. Once the root cause is removed, the problem no longer exists. Root Cause Analysis teaches us how to strengthen the bond and communication between our body ☥ mind, improve our ability to solve novel problems in the future and cultivate courage, confidence and trust in ourselves.
Why Black Health and Healing is because, in our world and in this country, Blackness is still a reality where there is still a great deal of prejudice - where there is a great deal of bias on all accounts and in the health and healing arena. We have certainly found, I think you can see this all over the country, that we are the ones who are suffering from maladies that a lot of the rest of the population simply is not. And this is across economic lines. We’ve seen Black men [who] are getting prostate cancer, no matter what their economic situation is. Black women are now getting breast cancer at a rapid rate no matter what their economic situation is. And that says to me that there is something very distinct about being Black and what happens to Black People in this particular country. So, we are addressing that reality of what is happening to Black People … what has been happening to us and now with, as Dr. LeSarre was speaking of, with the sugary foods or the stress or … the peril that we live in what is being created are heath manifestations. So, we were drawn to helping those of us with … a reality of being Black, an identity of being Black, to triumph over these health situations that are manifesting in us … there are many levels, they’re physical, they’re emotional, they’re psychological - they’re in many different areas, but I think it’s all around carrying this identity of Blackness and what happens to us in carrying this identity in this country. ☥ ☥ Ty Blair ☥
Our Journey To Radiance ☥ The Art Of Health ☥ Healing podcast features Dr. Monique LeSarre (former Executive Director) and Ty Blair (former Program Manager), of the Rafiki Coalition.
Dr. Monique LeSarre holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, a Masters in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelors in Interdisciplinary studies from the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS), where she also taught for over 8 years. She has over 23 years of experience as a Mental Health And Wellness Professional, working with diverse clients and settings to provide organizational consulting, individual and group trainings, and program assessment. She is the owner at Mixed Medicine LLC, a holistic health and wellness organization that offers integrative and innovative solutions for individuals, families and organizations. Additionally she has just stepped back from over 10 years as a Senior Executive in the non-profit space to to rekindle her passion for teaching, training, writing and sitting with clients. Dr. LeSarre, attributes her fierce critical thinking and social justice stance as being formed by her life experiences and honed by her undergraduate education in the Bachelors of Arts Completion Program at CIIS. Dr. LeSarre's teaching is fueled by Cornell West's quote, "Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public." Monique believes that in order to create individual and community healing, it is most effective to work on multiple levels of the system, beginning with individuals, families, and groups, and on academic, training, research, advocacy and policy levels. In her coaching and consulting work, she brings all of her vast experience in diverse spaces: clinical psychology training, her volunteer work with the KidCat Curriculum, working with Incarcerated men and Trans-women incarcerated as teens for life sentences, Insight Prison Project's Restorative Justice projects in San Quentin and SF Probation Adult Re-entry programs, her clinical work with adults, children and families in Oakland and San Francisco, her higher education teaching, the training experiences she has given in diverse settings across the state and her research and advocacy work in multiple health and mental health equity areas. ☥ LinkedIn ☥
Check out our Journey page to download and share the combined chapters as a MP3 file.
Tyger (Ty) Blair currently serves as a consultant for Bay Area nonprofit organizations that serve Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities.
One thing: you have to walk, and create the way by your walking; you will not find a ready-made path. It is not so cheap, to reach to the ultimate realization of truth. You will have to create the path by walking yourself; the path is not ready-made, lying there and waiting for you. It is just like the sky: the birds fly, but they don't leave any footprints. You cannot follow them; there are no footprints left behind. ☥ ☥ Osho ☥
☥ Remember to honor the voices of our children ☥ Art Expresses Our Healing ☥
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Epilogue ☥ Your Treasure Map For Self-Care
Thank you for taking the time to actively engage in your own self-care. If you have ever spent time at a hammam ☥ steam room ☥ sauna, you will notice that it is a comfortable space because you are wearing minimal or no clothing and you can just be yourself. However, after a short time, it starts to get hot, and you begin to sweat.
This is a good thing because you are helping your body to eliminate toxins. If you want to detoxify your body correctly you will:
☥ Breathe slowly and deeply to help your body adjust to the intensity of the heat.
☥ Sip water every 15 minutes to stay hydrated.
☥ Have a piece of fruit ☥ pumpkin seeds ☥ favorite healthy snack available.
☥ Take a shower after excessive sweating.
☥ Go into a cold room/take a cold plunge/cold water rinse off to cool down before doing
another sweat and to stimulate your lymphatic system.
☥ Go for a walk in nature, spend time in meditation ☥ contemplation, have a healthy meal
and give your body some time to complete the healing process (which could include
sending you messages through your intuition about your next steps).
As you journey through ☥ interact with the blogs ☥ other content on phyllishubbard.com, you might have an insight that causes you to suddenly feel mentally ☥ emotionally “hot” -- which could show up as:
☥ “Ah-ha” moments
☥ A hop-in-the-bed-and-cry-yourself-to-sleep or fetal position crying time of intensive
self-care
☥ Intense feelings of anger/regret about something in your past
☥ Disorientation caused by the realization of truth
☥ Strong reactions such as heightened senses, vomiting; an urge to release emotions
such as yelling/screaming, going outside for fresh air/to take a walk, punching a
boxing bag/pillow; a feeling of tightness in the chest, etc.
If you find yourself having a strong reaction, I encourage you to flow with it while helping your body to release mental ☥ emotional toxins by using the same five self-care strategies listed above for releasing physical toxins. Your body talks to you all the time, but unconscious adherence to social conditioning can mute its messages.
Strong reactions are your body’s way of letting you know that there is a deeper issue requiring your attention.
Keep revisiting the content ☥ utilizing the five self-care strategies until you no longer experience the strong reaction, release fears and have identified ☥ transformed ☥ removed the root cause of the issue. You will find additional strategies throughout this website that you can add to your mental health self-care toolkit.
Self-Care Sustainability Suggestions
☥ A Cross-Cultural Healing Haven – read this blog to understand the purpose of
phyllishubbard.com and the meaning behind its organization ☥ symbols.
☥ Revisit the content periodically and make a note of if/how your perceptions have
evolved. Check out our blog page for an experiential healing journey.
☥ Check out the other pages on phyllishubbard.com:
☥ Home - watch the videos. Click on the images in the Spiritual Guidance
section. Each image has a story that might assist your self-care journey. Learn
about other spiritual practices.
☥ About - Learn about my background ☥ reasons for co-creating
phyllishubbard.com with Spirit. Explore healing through the image carousel and
videos.
☥ Shop ☥ Kamitology - Purchase and download vital tools for your personal growth
☥ development.
☥ Reclaiming Our Humanity - Help us develop and disseminate video courses.
☥ Rise TV - Practice breathing and movement exercises and deepen your
understanding of healing through the experiences of community members.
Check back periodically to discover new/re-experience the content.
☥ Journey - This is your invitation to own the journey to radiance. Experience the
journey and download healing resources to share with your friends, family and
community.
When you share healing, healing comes back to and flows through you.
About Sharing ...
During my first presentation to an all-Black audience, I introduced 20-year-old research on the hazards of sitting. I presented the research because I noticed that people sat for way too long at convenings and realized that the information was not disseminated to Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities. I was determined to intentionally include this research, often surprising participants by getting people up to stretch. After more than 13 years of intentional work, Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People are just barely beginning to normalize conscious movement. We still have a long way to go, and it is important that we share what we know as much as we can to prevent the disenfranchisement of wellness information to Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities.
Copy/Paste Version Of Full Citation Example For This Blog:
Hubbard, P. S. (2020, September 27). The Art Of Health ☥ Healing. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM.<https://www.phyllishubbard.com/post/the-art-of-health-healing>
Please do not keep phyllishubbard.com to yourself. We will not co-create a better world until we heal our current, past/childhood traumas. We will not love others until we learn to love ourselves.
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PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM is a healing space for everyone that centers Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People - a GPS system for wellness that guides you on your path to radiant health through pictures, storytelling and video. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM creates healing art including customized wellness graphics ☥ videos that help people to transcend social programming in order to connect with, listen to and take actions based on their innate wisdom, promotes mental wellness and empowers us to actively engage in self-care. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM produces interactive video courses and digital workbooks for transformational leadership, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness and features Kamit☥ology, an online store that celebrates culture and affirms self-care.
