God ☥ Spinach ☥ Spirulina ☥ Yoga
- ©Dr. Phyllis SHU Hubbard
- Sep 14
- 20 min read
Updated: Nov 7
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. ☥ James Baldwin ☥
My birthday is September 27th, but I have to change my age because I have been reborn. My new BIRTHday is September 27, 2025 and my age will be based on that date moving forward. I'm keeping the month and day because it does affect some aspects of my personality. I am certainly what the zodiac might call a "Libra" but, I am from the African concept of Ma'at instead of the Greek appropriation. I will never accept bastardized forms of myself, but it is hard to know who I am when so much of my culture has been stolen. So, the journey continues. I have been in deep thought about how to write this post because it is ... well just as intense as my other posts so, you might as well get comfortable and pull out your favorite healthy snacks because I have another set of truths to share.
GOD
When I say that I have been reborn, I am not speaking metaphorically. I have been sort of like the character "Neo" most of my life, knowing that something was wrong with my world, but not knowing what to do about it. Like Neo, I searched and searched until I finally found my Morpheus. I call this Morpheus "the intelligence" because it has been with me, guiding and protecting me from harm. It kept me alive, saved me and facilitated the rebirth that I am about to share with you. The purpose of this blog is not to judge or throw anyone "under the bus" so to speak, but I do have to share some truths that are disturbing. Please keep in mind that hurt people hurt other people. I'm sharing these stories because I want the hurting to stop. We have to learn how to stop playing "hot potato" with our suffering. If someone hurts us, our job is to heal and put an end to the suffering. What happens too often is that we want someone to pay for our suffering, so we pass it on because it temporarily makes us feel like someone else feels our pain. But we will never heal unless we P-R-O-C-E-S-S our pain and release the trauma. There are no shortcuts, and we must endure the discomfort that accompanies the process. It is a rite of passage to get us to our next stage of development. And it stops the pain so that we can be a beneficial presence in the world. Yes, it is hard, but we have to find our way to the light. Recycling suffering recycles suffering.
How do I begin to tell this story?
From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. ☥ Luke 12:53 ☥
I love watching Nigerian films because they don't follow the "Hollywood Playbook." I also love "discovering" things about myself that I didn't realize were lost or hidden because of what I didn't know about myself as an African. One day, I spent an entire day watching the same kind of Nigerian films. The main character suffered and suffered for so long. Then I realized that my life was a Nigerian film. So many films that I've seen relate to my life, but I settled on "Who Am I?" because it speaks to the pain of a woman scorned (why hurt people hurt other people) and a woman who struggles to find herself and create success in the midst of intense resistance. I think these concepts of passing on suffering vs. implementing the process of healing require further clarification because we seem to struggle the most in this area. Most of my childhood was troubled. I was born to teenaged parents and my mother told me several times that I exist in spite of a failed abortion. From my very inception, I was in deep trauma. My mother did horrible things to other people because horrible things were done to her. Because she did not understand/want to implement the process of healing, she chose to make anyone/everyone pay for her suffering. When she brought her behavior to me, I decided that the madness would end and refused to participate in substandard behavior even when coerced and shamed. This decision threw us into endless sparring sessions where I had to find ways to protect myself from/block her behavior. I prayed for help constantly and because I felt so tormented, didn’t realize that I was receiving divine guidance that fortified my determination and directed me to escape routes that helped me to navigate my way through the hell of my life.
I used to spend the summers with my relatives "down south" and would play all day with a few relatives. We were sort of like the Three Musketeers because we had similar experiences with teenaged parents and trauma. One of my relatives was in such deep trauma that he used to spend hours banging his head against a pillow - a coping mechanism to calm his mind. We knew that something was wrong, but no one knew how to help him so we just let him be. By the time I became a Doctor of Natural Medicine, most people in my family had no interest in anything that I had to say about health. Still, I tried to do presentations at my family reunions, gave out samples of healthy products, tried to make the food healthier, but most of these ideas fell flat. Recently, this family member, who was slightly younger than me, passed away. I couldn't attend his funeral because I was on crutches and unable to travel.
When I broke a bone, I expected the bone to heal in a few weeks and to get on with my life. Then a year passed, and I was still on crutches. I wasn't getting worse, but I wasn't improving. This situation is very common with people who are diabetic, have cancer or some other autoimmune disorder, but I was in excellent health, so there was no physical reason for me to be on crutches. I knew I was in trouble, and had to dig deep to find the root cause of the problem. I did all of the normal stuff, and nothing surfaced. That's when I knew that it had to be some sort of psyochosomatic issue. My entire life was one big long dramatic story, so where would I find the problem? I finally settled on a lymphatic drainage technique that sort of works like the rings of a tree because you learn how to read what has happened in the body. It sort of works like a treasure map in that you discover truths about yourself that you cannot deny and that cannot be disputed because the evidence is one of the "rings" in your "tree."
I discovered that my ribs were crushed when I was a child and they didn't heal properly but something miraculous happened instead. Some sort of tissue grew to fill in the gaps which saved my life but caused bone irregularities that the doctors thought was some strange form of scoliosis. I struggled with respiratory issues and never figured out why I couldn't do sports like other kids. I always ended up on the sidelines and in the field events because I couldn't keep up with the running. I titled this section "God" because there is no explantation that can say why I am still alive. It's like I was protected from death by this tissue that grew and mimicked my ribs until my ribs could grow back. Then the tissue broke my knee to get my attention, and refused to let me walk so that I could find the real problem. And to top it all off, all of this happend AFTER I became a doctor. So it is as if my body held on just long enough for me to figure out how to heal myself the African way. Perhaps all of this sounds crazy, but it is what I discovered about myself, and I cannot dispute the evidence because I can see the rings on my tree. The tissue in my body was coiled up which leads me back to my relative who was banging his head against the pillow to cope.
I didn't realize that I had coping mechanisms as well. I was addicted to sucking my thumb as a child and continued the practice until I was "broken" at the age of eight. My mother tried all kinds of tactics to "break" me from the habit such as threatening me, putting pepper on my thumb, etc. but she never considered that improving her behavior would put an end to my coping mechanism. I finally became embarrassed about sucking my thumb and dropped the habit, but the stress of my life continued to intensify. The anger, frustration and sense of hopelessness that I felt imploded, and my body responded by turning inside itself. The tissue coiling up was how I silently "coped' but that coping technique was slowly killing me. Let me explain what I mean. If you place your fingers over the top of your thigh and press down a little as you rub towards your knee, your fingers should easily move downward. If you press in a little, it's almost like you are "combing" your muscles - sort of like combing your hair. For a healthy person, this should be a relatively easy process. My muscles were coiled up sort of like a rolled up joint. So when I press into my muscle, it is lumpy and bumpy. For some people, this is just muscle tension and what is called congestion in the fascia. But for me, it was a much deeper issue and a more serious problem that I had to immediately solve. So why am I still alive? The only differences between me and my family member is that my family member used substances to cope such as alcohol, cigarettes, junk food, etc. But in my search to heal my body, I focused on four core areas that I believe saved my life:
God ☥ Spinach ☥ Spirulina ☥ Yoga.
So there is the european way of looking at life which was forced on us. And then, there is the African way. I am going to share what I believe I understand of the African way. As I discover more about myself, I will update this section and we will all learn together. I believe that God intervened in my life and decided that I would fulfill my destiny, but I was living in a very hostile environment. To sustain my life, I had to learn how to embody the qualities of "SHU" who is the Kamitian (Ancient Egyptian) God Of Air. If the God Of Air did not come to me, my crushed ribs would have killed me. But it is deeper than that. What if I ignored "SHU"? When "the intelligence" tells us to do something, we must do it in order to save ourselves. Taking action, even when I was afraid is the reason why I am still here to write this post. I realized that I was protected. Life was hell for me, but God covered me with the equivalent of a combined NBC and fire suit to protect me as I navigated my way through the hell. I learned that I could be surrounded by and immersed in toxicity without allowing it to drive my actions. I knew who I was and what I didn't want in my life. I had to fight hard to stay in the light, but that fight kept me sane and cultivated my strength.
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. ☥ 1 Corinthians 10:13 ☥
Having a garden taught me that the sweetest fruit can be produced from the stinkiest compost. I can't change my origins, but I can allow myself to be reborn so that I can fulfill the destiny that God planned for me. I will not allow anyone/situation to come between me and that destiny.
I was told that I was in an accident that I believe never happened. Something else happened because the evidence on my body does not match the events that occurred. So, I have had to sit with the realization of levels of trauma piled on top of the already troubled childhood that I had - which included a substantial amount of racial trauma. It was too much, and then it hit me why I was not yet walking. My brilliant body was forcing me to rest. I was in the midst of full blown PTSD but able to function almost normally. If I want to get a nap or a sandwich, my body is on board. But if I attempt to apply for a job, my entire body turns into a ship in mutany. Again, there is the medical way of looking at things, and then there is the African way. I am African. From this perspective, my body has taken over and is in charge. I cannot override it at this point. I simply have to ride out the storm and wait until it completes all of its tasks. Once the tasks are complete, then my body will let me do what I want. In other words, I'm on crutches until my body completes the inner healing. I am OK with this process because as a doctor, I've seen the coiling of my tissue and it shocks me to be alive.
I have been doing something that is similar to "uncoiling" my tissue and it is a fascinating scientific experience. If I weren't so eager to get off of these crutches, it might be fun to study this phenomenon longer. But my desire to climb a tree and go for a run is so strong, I can't wait until this process is done. The worst part of my process has been the response of other people. People tend to freak out when the healer needs healing, but healers are also human and humans require healing just like everyone else. I am not exempt from doing the work because I am a healer. In fact, my lessons tend to be tougher to ensure that I can teach once I have learned. I'm not sure why that is difficult for people to accept, but living in reality is the only way that we are going to heal and move forward.
I'm sharing my story because we don't seem to understand what we need to OVERSTAND which is what chronic trauma can do to our bodies. It can and will kill us. The only thing that saved me was God ☥ Spinach ☥ Spirulina ☥ Yoga. Had I resorted to smoking weed and eating junk food, I would be dead. Here's what the "God" part did:
☥ Filled in the gaps and sustained my body until my bones could heal
☥ Refused to let me walk so that I would focus on finding and "uncoiling" the tissue
☥ Guided me to share my story to so that I could release pent up trauma (I had to tell a
few family members, and share this post in order to release trapped trauma in my
body)
Once I started this deeper process of healing, a song came into my heart and it played in my consciousness all day:
As of the writing of this post, the process is going great. My tissue is returing back to its normal state and my mobility is slowly increasing. As I "uncoil" the tissue, I'm able to move my muscle so that my bones can realign into its proper position. It is a slow, arduous process that I can only do for a few hours each day. Patience has been tough for me, but we all have to grow and this is a growth area for me. I'm learning to be with the process of healing and to have some fun with it. So, let me share how I saved myself.
SPINACH
"Spinach" represents dark leafy greens, which have been a staple part of my healing process. I chose spinach because the area where I live has been out of organic spinach for so long that I have had to order spinach powder to make smoothies. I mostly eat collards and whatever local greens I can get on a weekly basis. But as soon as I'm able to shop for myself, I will be in search of fresh organic spinach. Dark leafy greens are essential to the healing process. If you look outside, you notice that most things in nature are green. Have you ever wondered why? There is something in the green that sustains our life, and we need to eat it on a regular basis. That green thing is called chlorophyll which ensures the healthy formation of blood cells, reduces stress, protects our organs, tissues and glands and much more.
SPIRULINA
"Spirulina" represents the herbs and indigenous healing practices that have helped to sustain my life. One such herb is the seaweed called spirulina which comes from oceans in places such as Africa and South America. I primarily use spirulina in smoothies but have added it to muffins and even homemade ice cream. A little goes a long way and it is rich in nutrients. A few other seaweeds that I have used include Irish Moss and Bladderwrack. A few blogs that dive into this area include:
Also any blog I write on the change of the seasons assist with deep healing and introspection such as:
YOGA
"Yoga" represents any healing breath and movement practice that resonates with you. Examples can include yoga, qigong, Ayurveda and capoeira. Yoga is a term that means "union with God." What does that mean to you? How do you express it? Only you can answer these questions, so only you can craft the best "yoga" for your healing process. Once you take the time to learn more about the process of healing, "the intelligence" that causes your heart to beat will become more obvious to you. You will begin to pay more attention to "the intelligence" and follow its guidance. In time, you will see that it has been guiding you all along and that the times that you struggled the most were times when you were not listening to or being guided by "the intelligence."
When I first started practicing Kemetic Yoga, I thought that it was not the right practice for me. I couldn't understand why I was relaxed and uncomfortable at the same time. I thought I wasn't doing it right, and maybe I should try something else, but "that African" in me kept pushing me to continue. When I look back, I now realize that the discomfort was the yoga releasing and beginning the process of "uncoiling" my tissue. Because I was born into such deep trauma, the coiling had been with me my entire life, so it wasn't until I started practicing Kemetic Yoga that I became aware of a deeper issue in my tissues.
Yoga also helped me to love myself for who I am on my own merit. It is not easy to look in the mirror and see the resemblance of a person who tormented me my entire life. I look like this person, but I am NOT this person. I am my own person with my own destiny to fulfill regardless of how I look. Yoga taught me how to be in union with God so that when I look at myself in the mirror, I can love all of who I am and heal the pain whenever I am triggered by my appearance. This is a deep issue for many people. I interviewed a man who told me that he had a terrible relationship with his mother because he looked just like his father. When we are in union with God, we see with the eyes of SPIRIT which helps us to process and move beyond the pain of past traumas. But, it also helps us to process the truth. The truth is that I resemble a person who has caused pain to me and others, but I am not this person. The daily practice of yoga teaches us how to love and see each other as the light of SPIRIT.
Yoga also helped me to realize that the deep cleansing and healing of my past was a necessary step in the process of moving through the next phase of my spiritual initiation and to prepare me for the next chapter of my life.
So, to wrap up my story, I can say that I was walking down the street, and then Set ☥ God Of The Chaordic came and hit my life with a wrecking ball. Set destroyed toxic familial relationships that I was born into and was jeapordizing my health, so that I could rebuild my life based on a deeper truth with family and friends who love and support my growth path because they are growing and learning as well. As I faced the deeper truths, the "coiled" tissue began to release and return to normal. In effect, we can say that my tissue reflected the twisted life that I was forced to live as a child. As I grew and healed, I "untwisted" the toxicity by speaking and standing in my personal truth which caused me to be "reborn" as a new person with firm boundaries that protect me from harm and an open heart willing to learn and love.
So, my body is in mutany against traditional/corporate work, but I have bills to pay. How on earth do I get around this while I recover? I once heard Osunfemi Wanbi Njeri say that the Orisha will fight you to push you in the right direction. I truly felt this fight as I have attempted to work. I cannot, no matter how hard I try. Every grant has been delayed, every program, blocked. So I have no choice but to create and write. A few years ago, some characters came into my head, and I started thinking about a Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant crew in outer space. I've dreamed about it my whole life, but never thought I would see it. Then, the characters and story started to develop, and I realized that I might be a person who can tell this story. I sat on it for a while because I needed to figure out how to get back to work, but then I realized that my body was in full blown PTSD and the only work that it would allow me to do is get a sandwich, take a nap, write or create art and only when the body says these things are allowed.
Each of us is an electrical dynamo, a factory of a million strings to be fed and rejuvenated so that we can operate at the highest efficiency ... We must realize that crises come and are natural ... A healing crisis is an elimination process in which a vital principle is at work. The body wants to get rid of catarrh and we should not stop that elimination ... Healing occurs from the head down, from inside out, and in reverse order as the symptoms have first been acquired. Dr. Bernard Jensen
I can understand why doctors make the worst patients. I really struggled to follow my own orders, because
it was so hard for me to accept that I never had the opportunity to release the trauma of my childhood, and the trauma was so horrible that it literally coiled up my muscles and almost killed me.
Patreon is where I need the most immediate help so those $3/monthly donations may not seem like much, but helps tremendously. Please give if you can without harming yourself. I am creating lots of fun products on the shop page, Etsy and Zazzle so please visit and shop often. Your purchases are my only funding source until my healing process is complete. I can do graphic design and visual healing art work so if you have a project in mind, please contact me. I have had some knock down drag out fights with the Orisha about allowing me to do more, but I've finally given up the fight. This is what I can do for now, and so I hope that my community will support my work through this transition to what I think will be an exciting new pathway for living. Stay tuned ...
Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain: And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. ☥ Isaiah 40:4-5 ☥
Epilogue ☥ Your Treasure Map For Self-Care
Thank you for taking the time to actively engage in your own self-care. If you have ever spent time at a hammam ☥ steam room ☥ sauna, you will notice that it is a comfortable space because you are wearing minimal or no clothing and you can just be yourself. However, after a short time, it starts to get hot, and you begin to sweat.
This is a good thing because you are helping your body to eliminate toxins. If you want to detoxify your body correctly you will:
☥ Breathe slowly and deeply to help your body adjust to the intensity of the heat.
☥ Sip water every 15 minutes to stay hydrated.
☥ Have a piece of fruit ☥ pumpkin seeds ☥ favorite healthy snack available.
☥ Take a shower after excessive sweating.
☥ Go into a cold room/take a cold plunge/cold water rinse off to cool down before doing
another sweat and to stimulate your lymphatic system.
☥ Go for a walk in nature, spend time in meditation ☥ contemplation, have a healthy
meal and give your body some time to complete the healing process (which could
include sending you messages through your intuition about your next steps).
As you journey through ☥ interact with the blogs ☥ other content on phyllishubbard.com, you might have an insight that causes you to suddenly feel mentally ☥ emotionally “hot” -- which could show up as:
☥ “Ah-ha” moments
☥ A hop-in-the-bed-and-cry-yourself-to-sleep or fetal position crying time of
intensive self-care
☥ Intense feelings of anger/regret about something in your past
☥ Disorientation caused by the realization of truth
☥ Strong reactions such as heightened senses, vomiting; an urge to release emotions
such as yelling/screaming, going outside for fresh air/to take a walk, punching a
boxing bag/pillow; a feeling of tightness in the chest, etc.
If you find yourself having a strong reaction, I encourage you to flow with it while helping your body to release mental ☥ emotional toxins by using the same five self-care strategies listed above for releasing physical toxins. Your body talks to you all the time, but unconscious adherence to social conditioning can mute its messages.
Strong reactions are your body’s way of letting you know that there is a deeper issue requiring your attention.
Keep revisiting the content ☥ utilizing the five self-care strategies until you no longer experience the strong reaction, release fears and have identified ☥ transformed ☥ removed the root cause of the issue. You will find additional strategies throughout this website that you can add to your mental health self-care toolkit.
Self-Care Sustainability Suggestions
☥ A Cross-Cultural Healing Haven – read this blog to understand the purpose of
phyllishubbard.com and the meaning behind its organization ☥ symbols.
☥ Revisit the content periodically and make a note of if/how your perceptions
have evolved. Check out our blog page for an experiential healing journey.
☥ Check out the other pages on phyllishubbard.com:
☥ Home - watch the videos. Click on the images in the Spiritual Guidance
section. Each image has a story that might assist your self-care journey. Learn
about other spiritual practices.
☥ About - Learn about my background ☥ reasons for co-creating
phyllishubbard.com with Spirit. Explore healing through the image carousel and
videos.
☥ Shop ☥ Kamitology - Purchase and download vital tools for your personal growth
☥ development. Order The Chakra Emotions Energy Wisdom Quick Start Toolkit to
help you identify and heal feelings as they arise.
☥ Reclaiming Our Humanity - Help us develop and disseminate video courses.
☥ Rise TV - Practice breathing and movement exercises and deepen your
understanding of healing through the experiences of community members.
Check back periodically to discover new/re-experience the content.
☥ Journey - This is your invitation to own the journey to radiance. Experience the
journey and download healing resources to share with your friends, family and
community.
When you share healing, healing comes back to and flows through you.
About Sharing ...
During my first presentation to an all-Black audience, I introduced 20-year-old research on the hazards of sitting. I presented the research because I noticed that people sat for way too long at convenings and realized that the information was not disseminated to Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities. I was determined to intentionally include this research, often surprising participants by getting people up to stretch. After more than 13 years of intentional work, Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People are just barely beginning to normalize conscious movement. We still have a long way to go, and it is important that we share what we know as much as we can to prevent the disenfranchisement of wellness information to Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant communities.
Copy/Paste Version Of A Full Citation Example For This Blog:
Hubbard, P. S. (2020, September 27). Epilogue ☥ Your Treasure Map For Self-Care. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM. <https://www.phyllishubbard.com/post/epilogue>
Please do not keep phyllishubbard.com to yourself. We will not co-create a better world until we heal our current, past/childhood traumas. We will not love others until we learn to love ourselves.
A Note About Third Party Weblinks And Formatting ...
I make every effort to keep the weblinks active. However, I cannot control how other sites manage their links, and I don't receive notifications when their links change or expire. Also, software updates to your computer may alter the formatting of the content. If PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM looks strange (paragraphs misaligned, etc.), it may be because of a software update that is not compatible with the current format of my website. Please be patient with/bare with me in my evolution endeavors and feel free to contact me if I've taken too long to update the link/correct the formatting as I am the mayor, sheriff and police officer of the one-horse-town that is www.phyllishubbard.com. Thank you for your grace and understanding.
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PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM is a healing space for everyone that centers Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant People - a GPS system for wellness that guides you on your path to radiant health through pictures, storytelling and video. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM creates healing art including customized wellness graphics ☥ videos that help people to transcend social programming in order to connect with, listen to and take actions based on their innate wisdom, promotes mental wellness and empowers us to actively engage in self-care. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM produces interactive video courses and digital workbooks for transformational leadership, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness and features Kamit☥ology, an online store that celebrates culture and affirms self-care.
